6 Tips for Creating a Happy Long-term Mindful Stress-Free Relationship
By Lindsay Leimbach
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Explore and maintain shared beliefs. Common belief systems are humankind's chief bonding tools. Relationships survive where there is basic awareness and agreement as to ultimate values and matters of belief.
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Know you are the maker and the keeper of the rules. You define and are responsible for the rules of your work and home. You can try the rules that society imposes, but if they don’t fit, change the rules, not your authentic self.
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Be honest and genuine about what you need from each other. Never second-guess what the other person wants; you are not a mind reader. Awareness of your own needs is the first step. Awareness that your partner may have different needs in a non-judging way is the second.
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Develop mindful relationship rituals. Mindful rituals are things you do by mutual agreement and with awareness. These are different from habits, which you may not even consciously know you're doing and can be divisive. Mindful rituals renew your sense of being a tribe and your commitment to each other. They strengthen the feeling that you support each other and that you are in it together.
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Work out mutually agreed roles. Often relationships fail because roles are not agreed upon or given respect. Awareness and gratitude for each other’s role will negate feelings of being dismissed, taken for granted, or underappreciated. Awareness and gratitude will foster happiness and growth. “Thank you” goes a long way to building a loving relationship.
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Maintain a nexus of friends outside of the core relationship. One of the common traps into which couples fall into is not having the time, inclination, or mutual trust to go out and make external friendships. Friends are a way we develop support, fresh ideas, and company. In addition, the feeling of being part of a community builds internal strength and reduces stress.